Thursday, May 22, 2008

Funny

I told Ellen this story today, but I need to write it down, too. Yesterday marked the end of our three big days of testing this year. After taking the reading SOL on Monday and the math on Tuesday, we had the sixth graders do a writing sample on Wednesday that will be scored holistically according to the state rubric. We do one in the fall and another in the spring, hoping to document growth in our students as writers.

I'm not a big fan of standardized testing, as the four of us who might read this are aware. I try to communicate to the kids that it is a snapshot of their academic performance, a bit of data-- information to help us understand their strengths and weaknesses. I tell them to do their best so that our information is accurate. Sometime this week, more than one student asked why their work on assignments throughout the year wasn't enough to tell us what we needed to know. Clearly they sensed the politics of high stakes testing.

So I saw each of my five classes for thirty minutes yesterday before they were to do the writing sample. I made a little assignment sheet that asked them to brainstorm the qualities of "good" writing. I told them to start with what they know, but to use the table of contents of their handbook section, too. (Here is where they keep all the mini-lessons we've done on writing craft and conventions.) I gave them time to share their lists with one or two other students and add if they wanted, then we talked as a class about what we thought good writing was. They were full of ideas, and I was proud to hear them talk so confidently about much of what we have worked on this year. In each class, they mentioned writing a strong lead, and we reviewed some strategies for doing that. I reminded them that a strong lead is an easy way to get you and your reader off to a positive start. They agreed.

For the last part of the class, we went over the scoring rubric that we use to assess their writing. I explained each of the domains, and I asked them to say which they thought was their stength and which the most challenging. I gave each of them an individual compliment and suggestion to use as they composed that afternoon. At lunch, I was excited. I felt like my students were prepared to knock that assessment out of the ballpark. I couldn't wait to read what they wrote, especially those leads.

At our team meeting, the other teachers brought me the finished writing samples to turn in. The prompt had been to write about a time you were frightened. As I eagerly riffled through them, my eyes fell on the first line of the first piece: "I'm going to tell you a time when I was scared."

What!? I couldn't believe it. What a lame lead! I flipped to another, "A time when I was afraid was a while back..." and another, "One time I was scared." How disappointed was I, when I realized that very few of the students had applied what we have been working on all year AND that we had reviewed hours earlier? I went through all of them and sat back and had a good think. What to do?

I ended up typing the lead from every single piece and making it into a mini-lesson for my students today. I started out with, "What did we do yesterday?" A few blank looks as they searched the dim recesses of their memories gave way to hands waving eagerly to remind me that we had talked about good writing. "What did we say that was, again?" I asked. Oh the bounty of information they had-- strong leads, paragraphs, a so what, correct spelling, dialog, punctuation, strong vocabulary, etc, etc. "Yes, yes, yes," I told them. "Now... who used any of that in your writing piece yesterday?" There was stunned silence and raised hands dropped limply to their laps. "Why not?" I had to know.

"I was too busy just trying to do that test," one student told me. "I never thought about that stuff."


Below I'll include the list of 64 leads my students composed yesterday. They aren't all bad.

Write about a time you were frightened….
The Leads

1. I’m going to tell you a time when I was scared.

2. I drifted slowly to the bottom and opened my eyes and saw nothing but blue all around me.

3. We were getting ready to fall asleep when we all saw a green light toward the kitchen.

4. “Aahaa,” clutching my seat like the world was ending, I screamed at the top of my lungs.

5. Spiders are fine, but some people hate them.

6. As the lightning cut through the sky, I was awakened!

7. A time when I was afraid or frightened was awhile back when I got a phone call that terrified me.

8. Last year, during spring break, there was a huge thunder storm.

9. I went to the hospital to see my sister.

10. Lately my fear of spiders is getting to me.

11. “Save me, save me,” a lady screamed, but no one could hear her except the murderer.

12. I felt like the heat would never end.

13. One morning, me and my sister were cooking breakfast, because no one was home.

14. The alarm went off, “Beep beep beep.”

15. One afternoon, I went to my friend’s house.

16. I went to Universal Studios in Florida two years ago and went on my first roller coaster.

17. One frightening thing that happened is, I stepped on a snake.

18. AAAY cara plump I have fallen and I can’t get up.

19. “Oh no, Mom,” yelled my sister.

20. Have you ever seen a movie that scared you?

21. When I was a little boy, about 10 or 11, I was scared of the dark.

22. “Get down! The snake will kill you,” yelled my mom through the door.

23. A time I was frightened was I was chased by dogs.

24. It was cold outside, and I would say foggy.

25. One time I was scared.

26. One day, well, one night when I was outside with my sisters, it was so dark.

27. A time when I was frightened was when I went to a haunted house with just my two cousins.

28. “Bloody Mary, Bloody Mary, Bloody Mary!” my friends and I said in the dark bathroom.

29. My uncle pulled up to the dark and shallow driveway; I stepped out of the gleaming silver car wondering where is everybody.

30. One time when I was nine, my mom brought me to the beach for my birthday.

31. One time when I was frightened, was when I was watching a movie called, “The Ring.”

32. On a late July night, I was reading a book I had recently gotten from the library.

33. It all started when my sister yelled, “Go get the mop!”

34. “Oh no! Turn the TV off; it’s too frightening.”

35. My breathing was shallow. “You first Nick!”

36. I’m walking with caution through a pitch black night.”

37. At first I thought someone had pushed the fire alarm button.

38. “AAAAAEEEEUUUGGH!” I screamed.

39. A time I was frightened was during a thunder storm, and we had a blackout right in the middle of dinner.

40. Rmmmmmm! Booooom!”AHHH what was that?” called a person the next room over.

41. It was the biggest one I’d taken in my entire equestrian career so far.

42. “What was that?” yelled my friend, who had already started running.

43. I remember that day as if it were yesterday.

44. I’m always frightened of everything, but the most fear I had was when I was 8.

45. It happened when I was five.

46. My mom was telling me how my oldest sister was having brain surgery, once again.

47. A long time ago, there was a day when I thought I was going to go crazy.

48. When I was going to my sister’s friend’s baby shower we were in the car.

49. I ran across the street, saw the car coming near me, and then BAM.

50. My rollercoaster was in King’s Dominion.

51. I was ten years old.

52. “You can’t make me,” I was saying in my head.

53. “Yikes!” I said when I saw a dog coming out of the alley, “looks like he’s looking for food.”

54. My mom and I went to Ikea, not realizing that this would be one of the scariest days of my life.

55. On March 15, 2008, my mother and I went to Washington Hospital Center.

56. I wake up on a Saturday morning.

57. A time when I was frightened was when I was nine.

58. One night I was coming from one of my grandmother’s parties.

59. One time when I was 15, I went to the basement to play with my doll.

60. My aunt was driving my mother and I home from North Carolina.

61. When I was at my cousin’s house, we were watching TV, which is actually pretty boring at the time because she only had the Disney channel and some other boring shows.

62. Oh my God, everything bad happens to me.

63. “Run!” Jason and I jumped on our bikes and rode to our friend’s house as fast as possible.

64. I was home alone one day.

1 comment:

Red said...

I was wondering why #46 sounded like Matt Nice, but then I realized that these were my grade's leads! Was #41 Gwen?